On Female Strangulation in Horror

Watching horror through a survivor’s eyes is different. A kinship forms with final girls when you’re familiar with fearing for your life. A villain’s thrusting blade triggers memories of a different kind of thrusting. When a female character is strangled within an inch of her life — as they so often are in horror — there’s a hand around your neck. 

“At first, I thought, oh, this is kind of fun and kinky,” I tell the women seated on either side of me, grateful our sunglasses make avoiding eye contact less obvious. “But it got rougher and rougher. Everything would go black. I even pulled at his hand once, but he wouldn’t stop.”

As a lover of horror movies — good, bad, and in between — I’ve found whenever there’s a female lead in horror, she’s probably going to be strangled, whether fatally or not. Weapons, Evil Dead Rise, Strange Darling, Passenger, Backrooms, and Oddity all feature female strangulation scenes or mention female strangulation. Indeed, female strangulation seems as ubiquitous in horror as gore and cursed objects. I can’t stop thinking about it, and as a result, I can’t stop thinking about being strangled. 

“Tell her,” my mom says.

I’m sitting in a hospital bed with a body full of ulcers and a throat that can’t swallow. 

“My ex-boyfriend used to choke me a lot. Could that have caused this?” I ask, struggling to meet the gaze of the woman standing in front of me. 

“I don’t think so,” she answers, pity wafting off her lab coat. 

“It was always during sex,” I add quietly after she’s gone. 

Although female strangulation in horror is much more likely to be carried out by a demon or a serial killer than someone’s boyfriend or husband, female strangulation off screen is often an act of intimate partner violence (IPV) committed by abusive male partners. Specifically, using strangulation during sex as a fear and domination tactic — a way to ensure compliance from female partners — is far too common. 

“He strangled me more times than I can count,” I tell the therapist seated in front of me. Her office is decorated in scripture. I’m trying not to cry. 

“I’m surprised you can still wear necklaces,” she says, pointing to the gold resting near my collar bones. 

When I’m back in my car, shaky fingers rip the jewelry from my neck. 

For reasons even I don’t fully understand — but that likely have everything to do with internalized victim-blaming, confusion around kink, and undeserved shame — I long considered myself an unsympathetic victim of non-fatal strangulation based on the fact that, during our relationship, my ex-boyfriend frequently strangled me during violent sex that he controlled and I eventually stopped objecting to. In fact, I felt quite alone in my trauma until I stumbled across “Combining Strangulation and Sexual Abuse as Tools of Intimate Partner Abuse,” an article written by Kelsey McKay, J.D. and published in Family & Intimate Partner Violence Quarterly in 2023. As it turns out, my experience is anything but unique, and I’m lucky to be alive. 

“IPV in which strangulation is present often involves sexual assault,” McKay writes. “Strangulation as part of IPV is a significant predictor of increasing lethality, and even more so when all three abuses overlap—IPV, sexual assault, and strangulation.” 

McKay notes that research suggests twenty-three percent of women who reported being sexually assaulted by an intimate partner also reported non-fatal strangulation by an intimate partner, and, “approximately 38% to 44% of IPV victims have survived multiple strangulation assaults.” 

I’ve never reported being repeatedly strangled and repeatedly sexually assaulted by an intimate partner, and I don’t doubt there are countless other women who have experienced what I’ve experienced without telling another soul, much less a member of law enforcement. Non-fatal strangulation commonly leaves no visible marks or bruises on victims — despite what many horror films with strangulation scenes might lead viewers to believe — and abusers count on shame, confusion around kink, and victim-blaming to keep us quiet. 

Unfortunately, the very concept of intimate partner sexual violence, much less the difference between compliance and consent — surrender and permission — is one society and law enforcement are still struggling to fully grasp. Adding strangulation to the mix doesn’t make the concept any easier to understand. McKay addresses this in her article as well, writing: “Often, when sex and strangulation are combined, the crime is misunderstood by practitioners and the public. Failure to recognize the significance of the overlap of strangulation and sexual assault has hindered the development of appropriate law enforcement responses and effective policy protections related to interpersonal harm.”

I don’t love the prevalence of female strangulation in horror, but I suppose I’m grateful the persistent visual led me to finally acknowledge both my victimhood and my survivorship of strangulation, particularly strangulation and sexual assault as intertwined acts of IPV. If not for my stubborn fixation on the topic, I never would have found McKay’s article. I wouldn’t have discovered I’m far from alone. 

Celebrated horror filmmaker and alleged sexual assailant, Alfred Hitchcock, said: “A glimpse into the world proves that horror is nothing other than reality.” Concerning female strangulation in horror, it appears he was right.