Casting Spells on Men Who’ve Wronged Me with Sally and Gillian Owens

Photo by Kayla Maurais on Unsplash

Listen to "Casting Spells on Men Who’ve Wronged Me with Sally and Gillian Owens."

After midnight margaritas with the black cat on my lap I asked Sally and Gillian Owens to help me cast spells on men. Now every preacher who taught me abstinence will teach safe sex and consent. The relative who groped me during hugs will soon discover without their permission he can’t touch anyone. The boy who pinned me to a wall with my arm behind my back is going to become a women’s rights activist. The ex-boyfriend who abused me and wrecked my self-esteem is about to spend lots of money and years in therapy. The New Yorker who had sex with me when I was way too drunk will finally feel guilty he’ll realize what he’s done. The ballet teacher who intimidated and touched me during class will never work with kids again an anger management class he will pass. My many sexual harassers no matter their current ages will attend a pro-choice rally and enroll in Gender Studies. All the other men who’ve ever wronged me in ways big or little will volunteer their time at their local animal shelter. We could have turned them into toads or taken their very lives but I think it’s probably better to make them worthy of their wives.